Today, I was in awe of God’s love.

I checked my mailbox to find the sweetest, most selfless gift anyone has ever given me.

Yes, I am a Christian. Yes, I fall short. Yes, I struggle. But I am forgiven. I am loved and saved by Jesus. And today, God’s love struck me with a force so strong, I will never forget it.

It’s not always easy. It doesn’t always hit you like a brick wall. Sometimes, we only can experience God’s blessings when we completely surrender to Him. And this past Sunday, I knew He was preaching to me. I closed my eyes and I prayed, Lord, I’m giving it all to you. I’m yours. My heart is yours. My life is yours. My plans are your plans. Use me, Lord.

Over the past 8 months, I have truly struggled and fallen short of God. I have put my faith on the back burner, and my daily talks with God became shorter and more hurried. Throughout this entire wedding planning process, I lost myself. My to-do list kept growing, and I never saw the end. Instead of putting it all in God’s hands, I was relying on myself to do it all.

As a Christian, many of you know that if you try to do everything yourself, God will remind you – daily – that is just not going to work. And I will be the first to admit that I have fought it. There have been days where I convinced myself over and over, “I got this” and then God would reply – “not without Me.”

I opened my mailbox, and I stared into it for a few seconds. It wasn’t the normal envelopes or magazines I was used to seeing. In fact, there were no envelopes. Just one book, with a postcard inside. I pulled it out, and flipped to the page with the postcard. It read:

“Sweet friend,

The last photos you took of me, I remember being at your house and talking about the balance of work/nest. And the whole time I was reading this book, I couldn’t help but think of you! Quiet time is NECESSARY. I hope this book blesses you like it blessed me! You are a blessing to everyone that knows you. I love you!”

Return to your rest, oh my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.
– Pslam 116:7

I can’t believe I am worthy of such love and kindness, and a friendship like the sweet friend that left this in my mailbox. Thank you God, for reminding me to return to rest, and to fully rely on you. Thank you for your everlasting love, everlasting life – and all of your many blessings.

My plans are your plans.